Corey and I are trying to make friends here in Terre Haute, and with us both being in ministry, we have found that this is a very difficult thing to do. Plus, once you throw in that we are both pure introverts who don't like small talk, it revs up the difficult level. We have been somewhat involved with a young adult group from the big non-denom church here in town, and we have met some nice people and have had some good times. However, I personally have had a hard time connecting with them. I think it's for a number of reasons, but one of them is that we just don't have much in common, and also that we don't have the time to devote to the other activities that these people are involved in. It's frustrating to say the least. We miss the days of college and seminary when we were surrounded by friends all the time and could get people together at a moment's notice and laugh the night away doing whatever. Those days are over for the most part unfortunately. It's a tough life for 2 people in ministry trying to keep and meet friends. The friends that we do have are from my church and they are wonderful people and we connect on many levels, but they are quite a bit older than we are. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it does cause a rift sometimes. Then there are some people I know from Zumba that I have enjoyed getting to know. Maybe there is promise there. But then what if we do make close friends, only to be moved in a few years down the road? This is a problem that we all face as pastors. How to make it work?
I miss my old friends. I don't like that some of our closest friends don't bother to email anymore. And I don't like that many of us are spread so far apart.
At least Corey and I have each other :) and Kole :)
Thinking about Protocol Droids
1 week ago
6 comments:
You are not alone. Steve and I are in the same boat. It is SO hard to make friends...especially when we are so busy with ministry that we don't have time! Ugh.
Matt and I totally understand. The introversion, the clergy life, the geographic isolation from old friends. It all makes it really hard. We're excited to see my Disciples pastor cousin and her husband over Thanksgiving--even among fellow clergy, it's hard to find people we can connect with.
A colleague and I are starting a pastors' spouse blog. It will address issues like this, so I think the pastors themselves will get a lot out of it too.
I'm with you, sister. Miss you!
At least you have one awesome friend that only lives a short distance away- even if she IS going to make you (gasp!) bake for the holidays!!
I'm right there with you, too. I miss you and the seminary community!
Sadly to say I did not really make any good and true friends here in Houston until I left the ministry. Not saying either of you should leave the ministry. However, I go back to what I have been told over and over again by professors in college and at Candler; "Ministry is one of the Loneliest Professions."
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