Suicide

Suicide.  There is no explanation for it, no "right thing" to say, no closure to be found.  Suicide plunges us into the deepest of griefs, the deepest of emotion- anger, guilt, and pure longing to understand.  

I have found myself beginning this year's Lenten journey with those affected by suicide on my heart because a family that I am close to at the church found their daughter dead last night by self infliction.  I cannot imagine the shock and grief they are going through right now, and I wonder what there is to say to them.  I believe that God is with them, and more importantly, that God is with her and she is with God, and that is really all the comfort I feel that I can offer in this situation.  Sometimes we don't understand why people do the things they do- why someone chooses to take their own life, why someone feels that life is no longer an option, why someone will inflict pain upon themselves and because of their actions, inflict pain on those around them.  This kind of death leaves an empty and vicious place in our lives.

February has been a month of business surrounded by death at Memorial.  This will be the 2nd Saturday in a row that I will spend conducting a funeral for a family that I have connected with on a deeper level more than others, and the fact that suicide is involved will make it even more challenging.  As I received the ashes on my forehead today at an Ash Wednesday service that I helped to conduct, this young woman was on my mind- "From dust you have come, from dust you shall return."  She has chosen to give herself back to the earth, back to the dust, and her friends and family have been forced to begin this Lent season with a grief and sadness that is surely unbearable.