Exhausted and Overwhelmed

Those 2 words describe me very well right about now.  I cannot believe how busy I have been.  This weekend wasn't a weekend at all!  Friday I was at church all day, Saturday morning at 7:30 I spoke at the Men's Breakfast at church, and Sunday was the usual morning worships, followed by a conference from 2-9 pm.  Yes, you read that right.  We had a conference for pastors for 7 hours on a Sunday after putting in a Sunday morning.  I was not a happy camper.  To make matters worse, we had another 3 hour meeting this morning.  I am not a meeting person.  After about an hour, I get so antsy I can hardly stand it!  I don't know how these people sit for so long.  It's hard for me to find meaning in many meetings that I go to.  I always think about all of the other things I should be doing instead, and I find that some meetings hardly get us anywhere.  The conference wasn't altogether bad- this guy had some great things to say and things that we as pastors should be thinking about, but the day was so long that I'm just now remembering some of the things that we talked about.  All I cared about yesterday was getting home to bed and watching some football.  Bleh.  And I still have 2 meetings left tonight, plus a meeting in the morning on my day off.  Such is life right about now.

Ok, enough complaining.  Other happenings:  I performed my first baptism yesterday.  Well, it was actually 2 kids, ages 6 and 8.  It went rather well.  When I went to pour the water from the pitcher into the baptismal fount, the little boy said something like, "Wow!  Look at all that water!"  It was cute and something I wasn't expecting- haha...and then when I baptized him he giggled from the water on his head.  They were cute kids!  I am actually performing their dad's wedding in a few weeks.  It's an interesting and long story which I won't get into here.

So I feel overwhelmed with life, particularly work, at the moment.  There is just so much going on, and I have some days where I wonder if I'm doing the right thing with my life.  The answer is always, "Of course I am," but I have my off days where I question these kinds of things.  I'm still learning a lot about who I am as a pastor, and some days I feel like I take a step back rather than forward, and I think I need to work on being ok with that and figure out how I can be more focused and do better the next time.  Sunday was one of my off days so far- nothing seemed to go right, not even my microphone was cooperating yesterday, which definitely did not help me.  And the endless meetings leave me exhausted.  If we spent even half the time that we spend in meetings on things like visitation, serving in the community, or preparing for worship or even praying, think of how much more pastors would accomplish. That's not to say that meetings are not important, but I think there has to be a more effective way to get things out there and done.  I'm just saying....

And I've been doing a lot of hospital visitation lately, which is always emotionally draining.  We have a member who is suffering a lot and has taken a downhill turn in a short period of time.  The few times I've gone to see her, she seems to be fading away.  Sometimes when I pray with her I wonder if anyone is listening.  I suppose even pastors have those days when we wonder if God is here with us.