Reflection on Grief and Family

In my young life, I have not had too many people close to me die. The recent loss of my grandmother has been the closest family member to me that has passed away. I ventured to Knoxville in July to help my family intern her ashes, and I was asked to preside over the internment service. I was wary at first thinking that it would be too emotional, that I wouldn’t do it justice, or that my family, not being “church people” wouldn’t connect to the language that I would use. On the day of her memorial service, I realized how connected families are, how we love one another, how we grieve with one another, and how those we love live on through the memories and stories we share. It was a beautiful and emotional day for all of us. Her ashes were to be placed in a “niche” in a mausoleum on top of a huge hill in a cemetery. The mausoleum had two wings in it, with doors and windows of glass on either side. On one side, you could see the sunrise in the morning. On the other, you could see the sunset and the mountains, and my grandmother was certainly a sunset person. We gathered as a family to grieve, to remember, to share and celebrate her life. We placed her ashes in the niche together and stood there for awhile, embracing, saying goodbye. We then gathered at a restaurant and had room to spread out and look through old family photo albums and even her high school yearbook! There was lots of laughter and telling stories. Overall it was a day of remembering, celebrating, and being together. It also reminded me of how precious life is and how we all have many seasons of our lives. In her service, I read the famous text of Ecclesiastes, that for everything there is a season…a time to be born, a time to die, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to embrace and a time to refrain…a time for war, and a time for peace. Death is kind of like that, isn’t it? I felt that as we gathered to remember my grandmother, we celebrated the seasons of her life and the times we were part of her seasons, and at the same time, were reminded that her season is now one of everlasting peace.

I’m glad that I was able to be the one to preside at my grandmother’s memorial service. It was something I could do for her, and for my family. It brought me a sense of peace and comfort. It is when we grieve, when we remember, when we are with the ones we love, that God steps in and reminds us that we are not walking through these seasons of life alone. My prayer for you is that you always remember this.