I'm at my second day at annual conference, and I'm excited, tired, and slightly overwhelmed with everything going on! I have a lot to ponder as I end a 7 year journey of paperwork, interviews, psychological evaluations, seminary classes, RIM conferences, covenant group meetings, and being thrown into the life of a full-time pastor and learning more than I ever imagined was possible about life, myself, and God's presence in my life.
It all began with my days as a youth ministry volunteer at St. Luke's, where I was introduced to the crazy world of youth ministry. This led to me being thrown head first into being a youth pastor to mainly junior high/6th grade students, followed by my experience as a chaplain intern at Wishard Hospital. Ministry experiences usually are about being thrown in head first, aren't they?
I also describe my call into ministry as that "tug" on my heart from God that was telling me to take that step and jump in head first. I specifically remember the day I told Brian Durand, my "boss," mentor, and friend, that I wanted to explore going into ordained ministry. Immediately he put me on the path to meet with my candidacy mentor, a wonderful man named Adolf Hansen, who has supported me and walked with me all the way through. Another key for me was when my mom asked me if I had considered getting ordained. She said, "You might as well!" I remember watching Brian preach one day at St. Luke's and I turned to a friend and said, "I want to do this." And he said, "I know you do."
Little did I know how long the road would be and the things I would experience, the people I would get to meet, and the thousands of things that I would learn, the things that I would love, things I would not love, and the things that I still will learn, the doors that have opened and will continue to open, and even some doors that will close. My journey has been a series of doors that have opened for me. I am fortunate that I did not run into any snags in the process, and that I felt encouraged and affirmed all the way through. I had my times of anxiety, doubt, and fear, but God did not give up on me. The church did not give up on me. The people that have walked alongside me did not give up on me. And for all of those things I am extremely thankful.
Last night, my colleagues and I gathered in front of hundreds of clergy in IN and were voted in as full elders. We walked in after being voted upon to a standing ovation, clapping, cheers, and high 5s. We were official, and the support and excitement was overwhelming.
Last night, I gathered with members of the St. Luke's family and fellow ordinands (there are 5 of us) to celebrate our accomplishments and to talk about the impact of St. Luke's on our individual journeys. Each story was different, but powerful and meaningful. We each received a chalice and patent to use in our ministries in meaningful ways. How special that was!
I am being constantly amazed at the support and grace that has been poured out in my life as I've walked this road, and I know will continue to be present as I begin my journey as an ordained elder. Those doors, those people, those friends and family members, those mentors and guides- I will never be able to thank you enough.
Saturday is my ordination day- I don't know how I'll be feeling because something tells me I'll know when I get there. One thing I do know is that I will be listening for the seats (thanks to the chair of BOOM for pointing this out to us!)- the seats that will represent all of the people who have played a part in my faith journey. Some will be family, some will be old friends, some new, some will be mentors that have been with me since day 1, others will be mentors that came along later, some will be my own congregation members that know me as "pastor" and will be celebrating this milestone with me, some will be colleagues- all will be extremely important to me.
So, I'll be listening- listening for the seats, listening to the Bishop pray over me, feeling those who will lay hands on me, feeling the stole around my neck...and all the while, I'll be listening and for God's presence and direction in my life, answering that call of "what next?" and I'll be excited to see what doors will be opened next.
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