"The Process"

Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about the ordination process in the UMC because I have yet another set of interviews coming up in a few weeks to add to my very long list of interviews. I am in my 2nd year of the "residence in ministry" program, a 3 year process where we are "on probation" to finally be fully ordained in the UMC. At General Conference this past year, it was decided that the RIM process could be 2 years, which in my opinion, is plenty enough after everything candidates already go through. But of course, the IN conference decided not to adopt this 2 year plan, so we are on the 3 year plan. And to add insult to injury, we have a 2nd year interview and paperwork to go through to test our "effectiveness" in ministry. Let me just say that I have severe anxiety about this interview coming up. I really can't say why except to say that this process is bordering on obsessive. Although I have not hit any snags yet, I feel that there comes a point where there is such a thing as too much. I have this fear that after everything I have already done and the years I have put into this, that I will hit a wall. Yes, this fear is illogical, but I have this fear nonetheless. Some of my fellow clergy friends are going onto ordination this year at their annual conferences, and we IN folk are still stuck in never never land walking on egg shells trying to make it through to the next round. I'm frustrated, I'm tired, and I'm ready for this process to end so that I can move on in my ministry and find better things to worry about and fuss over.

That being said, I am glad that the UMC has a process in place to make sure that their candidates for ordination are #1, sane, and #2, educated, and #3, devoted to ministry, because we have to be in order to survive the system. Even then people get through that prove that even the system is sometimes flawed. However, is there a time to say enough is enough? How many more years can be added to this process? How many interviews can one person take? How many papers need to be written to prove that we are ready to be called "pastor"? How many people need to speak on our behalf to say that we are caring, effective people?

Anyway, I've made my point. My interview is December 3rd with 5 members of the board of ordained ministry, along with lay people from the church, and finally with me. My paperwork has been turned in, my interview team has been assembled, and ready or not, here I come, and I'm still far from being done. Prayers are appreciated.