Defying Gravity

Corey and I ventured to Indy yesterday to see the musical, Wicked.  This was Corey's first time seeing it, and my 2nd time.  We ordered these tickets forever ago, so I've been counting down until the day finally arrived!  

It's time for a serious moment now...because for me, Wicked is more than just a musical...it's a reminder of how far I've come since a particular time in my life.  Those of you who have known me since my first year of seminary will know what period in my life I am talking about. The first time I saw Wicked was the summer after my first year of seminary when my family came down to Atlanta for the weekend to visit and to see Wicked with my sister and I.  At this point I was at the end of my rope, struggling with a relationship I couldn't seem to get out of and I couldn't understand how it had gotten to this point.  There were emotional and verbal abuse issues, alcohol issues, endless fighting, and the classic cycle of abuse that I couldn't break away from. The whole thing was your classic case and I never thought that I could be the kind of girl that could get caught up in that, but I did.  It can happen to anyone.  My stubbornness wanted to keep at it to see if anything could or would change.  I wanted to fix it.  I wanted to fix him.  And luckily I got out of it before it turned really dangerous.  I don't talk about this time in my life much, because it brings up some really intensely bad memories and makes me feel weak that I found myself in this situation.  You never think it's going to happen to you...and it can.  I learned many lessons during that time about myself and about relationships.  How the wrong person can isolate you from the people you love.  How the wrong person can pull you down with them.  How the wrong person can make you feel like you are the one losing your mind.  How the wrong person can send you in a downward spiral so fast that you don't even know what hit you.  I could go on, but you get the idea.  I won't get into any more details.  

So when I saw Wicked for the first time, that was the status of my life.  I was struggling, caught in an endless cycle and needed to find a way to break free.  And I saw this song performed on stage: (Music and lyrics by Stephen Schwartz)

Something has changed within me 
Something is not the same 
I'm through with playing by the rules 
Of someone else's game 
Too late for second-guessing 
Too late to go back to sleep 
It's time to trust my instincts 
Close my eyes: and leap! 

It's time to try 
Defying gravity 
I think I'll try 
Defying gravity 
And you can't pull me down! 

I'm through accepting limits 
''cause someone says they're so 
Some things I cannot change 
But till I try, I'll never know! 
Too long I've been afraid of 
Losing love I guess I've lost 
Well, if that's love 
It comes at much too high a cost! 

I'd sooner buy 
Defying gravity 
Kiss me goodbye 
I'm defying gravity 

So if you care to find me 
Look to the western sky! 
As someone told me lately: 
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!" 
And if I'm flying solo 
At least I'm flying free 
To those who'd ground me 
Take a message back from me 
Tell them how I am 
Defying gravity 
I'm flying high 
Defying gravity 
And soon I'll match them in renown 
And nobody in all of Oz 
No Wizard that there is or was 
Is ever gonna bring me down! 

I think my point is made.  Thanks for reading.  I am now so blessed to have a wonderful husband and a wonderful life that is far removed from the situation I was in years ago, and I pray for any woman who has been or ever will be in any kind of similar relationship. Learn the signs, find the strength and support to get yourself out, speak up and speak out, and never give up. Find your own way to defy gravity.  I thank God everyday that I found mine.