The God "Grab"

God grabbed a hold of me today.  Let me back up...

I've spent the past few days at Annual Conference, and a lot of it was spent running around being in charge of setting things up and organizing people.  Thursday morning was spent evaluating young preachers at the Festival of Young Preachers (which was great!)  But overall, I was disappointed that I didn't get to spend a lot of time catching up with people or even visiting many of the booths that were set up.  I had to miss a lunch that I'd planned on going to due to my responsibilities.  I was feeling a bit worn down.

But this morning was the commissioning and ordination service, and as usual, I had a few friends that were being commissioned or ordained, so I was looking forward to it.  Before that though, I had my health screening done and they couldn't get blood to come out of my arm, so I had to sit there for 5 minutes while they tried to get it, and I started to feel like I was going to faint...that was not fun.  Corey was talking to me and I was literally not hearing what he was saying and my eyes kind of glazed over...so once I recovered from that, we went to the service.

Ordination and commissioning worship is always meaningful because it reminds us all of our call to ministry, whether ordained or not, and we gather to celebrate those who have worked hard to get to this point, and those of us who have been through it before remember the joy of ordination day.  I remember mine so well from 2 years ago (read about it HERE), so celebrating this day every year at conference brings all of those memories back, as well as the reminder of why I do what I do.  Everything was great this morning, but I wasn't prepared for what happened during the last verse of "Here I am Lord." During the service, the bishop always asks people who feel a "nudge" that they might be called into ministry to come forward and be prayed over as they discern what their next steps might be.  A woman who had been sitting in front of me with her family went up during this time, and I watched her on the big screen as she was prayed over, and then came back to her seat.  I didn't know this woman or anyone sitting with her, but it was obvious that her actions that day were significant and important to those who were with her, and of course, the woman herself.

As I was singing, listening, thinking about God's call on my life and the tough year of transition it had been, all the times I doubted what my call is, or if I should even be doing ministry, something came over me and I had to stop singing and fight to hold the tears back.  I guess you could call it a "heart being strangely warmed moment" brought about by these words to "Here I am Lord:"

I, the Lord of wind and flame,
I will tend the poor and lame.
I will set a feast for them,
My hand will save
Finest bread I will provide,
Till their hearts be satisfied.
I will give My life to them,
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.


I have heard and sung this song many many times, and it's one of my favorites.  Still, I don't know quite why these words all the sudden caused a stir in my heart and emotions.  Something about God tending the poor and lame, healing, setting a feast for us, and finally, giving life for us, and then asking, "Whom shall I send?"  And then the response, "Here I am, Lord...is it I?  I have heard you calling in the night...I will go, Lord..."  The words grabbed me because it was a reminder that God has done SO much for us and loves us SO much, and then the words basically ask, "WELL....what are YOU going to do about it?" I haven't felt the Spirit stir like this in my heart for a long time.  I still don't know quite what it means or why it happened.  It was a God thing, but I'm glad it did happen.  Maybe it was God's way of preparing me for the next appointment year at Morgantown- that reminder that I am indeed called to ordained pastoral ministry, that I need to hold on to my enthusiasm, that I need reminders of the faith in God that led me to this point, and not to ever, ever give up.

Has God "grabbed" you lately?