How did it come to this?

Still in the midst of transition, I have found myself searching for meaning and hope a lot lately.  There are so many hurtful, traumatic, and horrible things going on right now in our country and our world.  It seriously seems like we have all gone crazy.

For one, women's rights are in danger.  Instead of making progress for equality and celebrating a woman's right to choose what she does with her own body, a large contention of people seem to think that we need to go back to the 1950s where women were fighting this same fight.  Not to mention, since when did women's rights have anything to do with running a political campaign?  Why not focus on other things rather than fighting over whether or not a woman has the right to birth control or abortion care?  Leave women alone!  We are doing just fine without the government telling us what we can or cannot do.  And don't even get me started on the latest GOP candidate saying that in cases of "legitimate rape," a woman's body prevents a pregnancy.  You've got to be kidding me! How did to come to this?

And I think we've had some kind of mass shooting (or attempted shooting) in the news at least once a week for the past few weeks.  People are unstable, unhappy, confused, misunderstood, misinformed, and unsettled.  It has gotten out of control.  How do we as a nation begin to piece things back together when people are so hateful and divided?  And it seems that the church (overall) is just making things worse!  People are doing the most hateful things in the name of Christ, and it really sickens me.  How did it come to this?

...there are also days where I feel completely lost and hopeless when it comes to the future of the church.  As a young clergy, I am in a small church claiming to want change and growth, but when you get right down to the details, they want little to do with change and growth.  I hear that people want to be taught and challenged, and the minute I try to teach something that might be a little out of someone's comfort zone, the next thing I hear is that they are not coming back to church.  They want a pastor who will lead and enable others to lead, but yet all of the tasks get put back on the pastor.  It's a vicious cycle.  Am I climbing uphill?  Making any impact at all?  Doing everything I'm supposed to be doing?

Like a lot of people, I wish I could just snap my fingers and fix everything wrong in this world, nation, community, and the church.  But I am only one person.  I am only 30 years old.  At times I feel so limited.  At times I feel burnt out.  At times I feel like I am not even making a dent in all of this mess.  At times I feel so powerless and alone.

One of my favorite texts is "Be still and know that I am God."

Well, God....I'm listening...