Let's Talk About Sex....

Ok, for some reason, over the past few weeks, a lot of ministry issues have been floating around in my world having to do with sex and issues related to sex. I never thought I would sit in my office and have a conversation about young women in ministry and orgasms, and I never thought that I would hear similar words and topics used in the sanctuary, but life is full of surprises! I never thought that I would be having to defend a woman's right to birth control and pap smears, cancer screenings, etc. to a male colleague, but this has been a heated topic as of late.

First of all, many of you by now have probably heard of this article in Marie Claire magazine about a young clergy woman talking about her sex life, or lack thereof. This has been a big topic of conversation among young clergy. Here is my take on it. I think it's very important and a good thing that Marie Claire decided to take on this topic because this is a real issue. My single friends in ministry struggle with dating- how to date, who to date, and where to meet men that are not intimidated by their vocation. And then the sex issue- Rev. Miller discusses her vow to remain celibate while single even though she had sex in college before accepting the call to ministry. Her honesty here is important and something to respect. Unfortunately, as she points out, finding a man that will wait until the wedding night is hard to come by these days. I think this topic is something that people should be aware of: the struggles of women clergy and dating/sex life. HOWEVER...I think that this article was poorly done. I thought it was distasteful and very "un-classy." Some of the quotes they chose to use were inappropriate and almost childish, and portrayed her more in a negative light. A lot of people disagree with me on this and applaud Rev. Miller and Marie Claire for the content as it is. I think that if they are going to talk about a clergywoman, they should do it in a much more classy and tasteful way. I believe there are ways to do this and still address the real issues at hand. And this was also a lesson for all of us: that we need to watch what we say and choose our words carefully in any public forum as pastors and remember who and what we represent.

Second, Corey and I attended a Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage seminar this past weekend where one of sessions talked about sex. There were some interesting points made, and I wished that the presenter would have spent equal time on men's and women's sexual issues and frustrations, but it was more directed toward the man in the marriage. However, this did get me thinking about sex and the church. It's something that's not talked about very often, but something that a lot of churches are beginning to approach as something that needs to be addressed. I, too, think it is important for the church to be in dialogue about sex, healthy sex, and not to treat it as something taboo or something that doesn't exist at all. The question is, "How?"

And third, the issue that really gets under my skin: the government withdrawing funds for organizations such as Planned Parenthood, the number one provider of birth control, cancer and STD screenings, healthy family planning, and women's health care. And yes, they provide abortion care as well, but federal funding is not used in that arena. SO....this is extremely sad to see and it makes no sense to me whatsoever. My friend Becky has a really good blog post about it, so check it out here. I can't understand why a group of men would stand up and say that in order to stop abortions, they want to cut spending to the very organizations that provide accessible birth control and women's health care. Does this make any sense to ANYONE? Second, women are going to keep on getting abortions. That is the reality no matter what your "religion" says or what you believe. So why not provide safe and healthy places for women to make that difficult choice? Even our United Methodist stance says that abortion is not the ideal option, but is permissible if needed in order to save a woman's life if the pregnancy puts her in danger. As pastors and churches, we also are charged to offer pastoral care support and care any woman who has had an abortion.

All politics and religion aside, women need health care, and it shouldn't be up to a group of (mainly)men in our government to say that it should be taken away. This really is "an attack on women." If you stand with Planned Parenthood and the care they offer to women and families, please visit this website, "I Stand With Planned Parenthood."