Rethinking Church and Weddings

For the past year or so, the UMC has been promoting their Rethink Church campaign, which tries to tell us that church should be something you DO, rather than a place where you go. I like this, but I believe it's also rethinking the way we do things IN the church, as well as outside of the church. For example, I recently read this article about Christian weddings and really enjoyed it. I am one of those pastors who would prefer to do a funeral over a wedding any day, mainly because, as the author says, a funeral gives you a chance to connect with persons in a more pastoral and spiritual way as they grieve the loss of a loved one. Also, funerals are at most a 2 or 3 day deal, and with weddings, it's 6 months to a year of planning, meetings, and dealing with mothers of brides! Clergy often times get swept away in the midst of the craziness that is the wedding industry these days, and we don't really know what to do with that. I even wonder sometimes if the need for clergy is diminishing when it comes to weddings. I was flipping through one of my friend's wedding books recently, and it had a whole section on "the important people in your wedding." Clergy or any kind of officiant didn't even make the list!

Anyway, I really found it interesting that this article pointed out the connection between the baptism vows and the wedding vows for a Christian wedding. How wonderful! It seems so simple and obvious, but I don't think I would have thought about it easily. Looking back, I almost wish that Corey and I would have taken the idea of getting married on a Sunday morning dressed not in tuxes and dresses, but in albs. But then again, I loved my dress so much! (See, it's so easy to get caught up in it!)

At the end of the day, pastors maybe need an attitude adjustment about weddings and how we can be pastoral in these situations. People are still coming into churches to get married for (hopefully) reasons other than "it's just a pretty place!" It's our job to be there, to help plan, to lend a listening ear, and to help prepare a couple for marriage to the best of our ability.

On the other hand, perhaps the wedding industry needs to rethink the way they do things as well. Since when is marriage all about the dress, the tux, the reception site, the flowers, the rings, the extravagance? Whatever happened to the real meaning of two people coming together to build a life? Where is that in the wedding magazines?

Just a thought.